


Exsomnis

by jenn_mischievious_mind



Category: Prisoners (2013)
Genre: Denis Villeneuve - Freeform, F/M, Prisoners
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2019-10-22 10:06:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17660723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jenn_mischievious_mind/pseuds/jenn_mischievious_mind
Summary: Exsomnis: Wakeful, VigilantFresh Doctor out of residency you didn't expect Conyers to be this uneventful until everything happened at the same time. From the outset, an odd meeting with what seems like a steadfast Detective but it was only the beginning.





	1. Oath of Hippocrates

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, English is not my native language, I'm trying to get better at it, please be indulgent ^^ 
> 
> Based on the movie Prisoners by Denis Villeneuve (so I don't own any of the OG characters) if you haven't seen it, I recommend you do (maybe before reading) :) The story takes place before and through the event in the movie.

“Incoming, male 22, shot in the thorax, GCS 2”  
“Trauma 4 Dr. Izzy you’re on it.”  
“Incoming, same site, female, 35, shot in the leg, no artery touched, police officer GCS4.”  
“Trauma 2 is free”

Night shift in the E.R was on for eight hours straight.

  
“Evening Dr. Y/L/N.”

  
“Evening Erin, updates?”

  
“Well, we’ve got 2 gunshot victims whom just got in, they’re being take care of. The young Alisa with the addiction is, unfortunately, ready to get discharged and Mrs. Huston is …“

  
“True to herself I presume” ... we both sighed, she nodded

  
“I’ll check on her, you patted her shoulder, thanks.” You took a tablet checking Mrs. Huston, our backslider, last results.

  
“This man has to be handcuff right now!!” You turned around at the loud voice echoing in the E.R waiting room. The head nurse bumped into you.

  
“That’s the officer who brought the two shotguns, victims.” Your attention returned to the tablet.

  
“Well he must shut it, it’s a hospital, not a sports bar.” She looked at you embarrassed, you saw another nurse looking at him but trying to make herself busy.

Putting the tablet in your pocket you head to the waiting room.

  
“Sir, I need you to stay quiet please.” you saw the hospital security guy coming your way, but gently dismissed him.

  
The officer looked at you visibly annoyed, he blinked a few times in a matter of seconds. Your attention got caught when he stumbled on his side.

  
“Sir? Are you all right?” You caught him by his side and he hissed. Retrieving your hand, finding red stains on it, you lift his jacket.

  
“I need a treatment room!” You yelled, and ask a nurse for help, rushing the officer in the E.R.

  
“Treatment 1, Y/N” the head nurse pointed at your left.

  
He looked down at his stomach, a gash of blood was staining his light blue shirt.

  
“Shit!” He growled as the nurse helped you lay him down.

  
“I don’t have time for this.” He hissed trying to stand up.

  
“And I don’t have time to argue with you!” You pushed him back on the bed. Putting your gloves on. “I won’t let you bleed out on my shift.” He sighed as the nurse cut down his shirt and tank top.

  
“Knife wounds.” He sighed as you inspect his chest and abdomen. He had two on the abdomen. The adrenaline must have been enough for him to not feel them until now.

  
“You’ll need stitches.” The nurse prepares the stitches kit and she sanitizes the wounds.

  
“Won’t be the first.” He groaned you checked his vitals while the nurse prepared him.

  
“Dr. I need your nurse, is it okay with you?” The head nurse came in a rush.

  
“Yeah yeah, thanks Gail.” She let you the kit. One of his wounds was pretty low on his abdomen, genuinely you grabbed his belt to undo it.

  
“What the …!” he caught your wrist.

  
“Sorry, should have asked, I must lower your pants to reach the wound.” He didn’t answer anything, looking at you pondering if he really had to, he yields undoing his belt on his own. You lowered the pants as much as you needed, his dignity remained intact.

  
“You’re lucky he didn’t stab you lower, you would have bled to death.”

  
“So much for reassuring your patient Doctor” he inhaled, a smile creeping on his lips.

  
“Yeah, well, sorry about that.” He smirked and hissed as the thread pulled the nerves. You finished stitching him up in silence he wasn’t much of a talker, but it didn’t bother you as you were not the best at small talks obviously.

  
“There you go. Try not to move too much, you need some rest officer.” You threw your gloves in the bin.

  
“Thanks, doc.” You finally took a good look at him. Sleek black hair, thick eyebrows, dark circles under two bright blue eyes, thin lips and a sharp jaw. He reached out his hand, blinking multiples times again.

  
“My job. Do you want a hospital gown?” You asked him gesturing at his bare torso.

  
“No, thanks, I have a shirt in my trunk.” He hoped down the bed.

  
“Careful with those stitches, please. You’ll have to come back in a few weeks to get them removed. If you need anything for the pain…”  
“I’ll be fine.” He grabbed his jacket and put him on with your help, his other hand on his stitches, his body leaning forward. You shook your head and went to the main desk. Typing in your last entry, still filing up his charts you saw him pulled out his phone.

  
“No phone in the E.R.” you pointed at the sign on the doors. He looked at you then to the sign then back at you and finally head to the waiting room. A nurse approached you, multiple IV bags in her arms.

  
“Thank god I didn’t get to take care of him.” You turned your head to her wondering. She might have felt she said something wrong, as she stuttered an explanation.

  
“Well, he ... he is pretty stubborn, not the first time he shows up wounded and don’t want any help.” She grimaced, you suppressed the urge to roll your eyes at her.  
“He is indeed.” You past by her, heading to the waiting room. Patting on his shoulder as he was still on the phone you handed him a note and a painkiller prescription. The note reminding him how many times he had to change the gauze etc. You lock your gaze with his, in a way to make sure he’d got it. He was still listening to whoever was on the phone, and nod at you, somehow you stared at him longer than necessary. You mouth a goodbye raising your hand turning back to the E.R. immediately wondering what exactly got into you.

“Yeah, can you repeat that please I didn’t ... get it.” He talked to the phone, looking back at the note you gave him.

 

A few hours later you were finally on break. Erin had just got hers, she slumped into the seat next to you, she hummed at the smell of the fresh cup of coffee. Night shifts are not always the easiest, keeping up a healthy lifestyle when you’re pretty much a bat is not the best deal. Erin sighed loudly.

  
“Like you said.” You sipped on your ginger tea.

  
“I’ve heard you’ve met the infamous Detective Loki?” She asked putting down her mug. You opened your resting eyes, arching a brow at her, she had straightened up suddenly refreshed.

  
“Oh yeah, the stubborn guy! He's a detective?” you frowned.

  
“So?” She wriggled her eyebrows at you, finally getting what she meant you sighed.

  
The thing with Erin is that she knew you well, you’ve been to med school with her back in Cleveland and since you’ve arrived in this little town, she had tried to hook you up with every man in uniform she thinks you’d like. Firefighters, policeman, surgeons, etc…

  
“Come on, I’ve seen the man 30 minutes top.”

  
“That’s quite enough to tell if at least physically, he’s interesting you.”

  
“Are you listening to yourself? He must have someone you know.” You scoffed

  
“Whatever. Tell me honestly, how you found him?” She leaned on the table.

  
You sighed leaning back, stretching your legs. Reminiscing the encounter.

  
He is … good looking, I don’t …, you know the nurses fear him, right?

  
“Hm hm? So what?” She urged you to continue.

  
“I don’t know why they do though. His eyes look sad but ... sweet in a way, you scoffed at your own sentence, give me an anesthetic I'm talking nonsense.  
Erin giggled as you went on.

  
“We stared at each other for a few seconds back in the waiting room.” You took a gulp of hot tea.

  
“I bet it was awkward”, her shoulders rising.

  
“Don’t tell me, I felt like a deer caught in headlights. It was ridiculous.”

  
She smiled brightly, you knew what she had in mind.

  
“Don’t you dare.”

  
“What, I didn’t say a thing!“

  
“I can hear your mind plotting, stop that.” You menaced her with your index. She sing-song a not so sincere okay.


	2. Red light

The temperature dropped radically at the holiday season approaching, you couldn’t wait to get home. 10 PM strike the end of your shift, you mentally slapped yourself remembering you had run out of prep meal. The Chinese restaurant at the last bus stop will have to do.

Flopping down on a chair near the window, a waitress came right away as the place was practically empty.

“Rice and spicy chicken soup, and to drink?” she tapped her pen on her notepad.

“Water please, no straw thanks.” As she strolled back to the Comptoir, your head fell into your hands, elbows resting on the table, if it wasn’t for your grunted belly you would be home showered and tucked into bed.

The door’s chime announced a new costumer, letting in a stream of glacial air on his way, you shivered pressing your legs together, not bothering to look who had entered.

“Rough day?” the newcomer asked.

“Rough life.” You answered curtly, not in the mood to have a talk with a stranger.

“Tell me about it.” You heard a sigh then a chuckle, intrigued you finally looked up.

A smirk, a sharp jaw, and some sad blue eyes had you at attention in a second. Detective Loki. You had met occasionally, at the grocery store or the hospital and Erin almost tried every subterfuge for you to meet him, mostly in vain. She was funny, so you let her do her thing.

“Doc,” he nodded. Somehow you gestured to the chair next to you, pushing it with your feet, he took the hint and let his heavy jacket fall from his broad shoulders.

“I’d presumed you’d want to enjoy your time alone.” he picked up a pair of chopsticks.

“I don’t mind some company, as long as you don't ask me about the hospital.” He smirked, still playing with the chopsticks without breaking them apart, a way of keeping his tattooed hands busy. You quickly stared at the tattoos wondering the meaning of them. Pondering if he had more than these and the star on his neck.

The waitress cut your thoughts when setting your bowls in front of you and a plate and a mug of coffee in front of him.

“I see you’re known here,” you eyed his plate after thanking the waitress. He scoffed picking at his food.

“There’s not a lot of places which stay open this late here.” Both of you ate in a comfortable silent at first, then he’d talked a bit about the police station, he had you talk more though, mostly on how you're first 6 months in Conyers went.

Plates were gone, the warm mug of decaf in your hands prickling at your skin. “

"How your stitches are doing by the way?” His hand went to his rib.

"I thought you didn't want to talk about hospital matters?" he asked amused

"Occupational hazard? you arched an eyebrow, a Doctor never really cease caring for his patient." 

"Good to know I have you to care for my injuries." you scoffed at his saying but surprised yourself at feeling the blush creeping on your cheeks.

"Let's hope I'll not have to stitch you up in a long time." he raised his coffee mug at your saying.

“I'm no doctor, but I think they're fine...” he blinked again three times in a row, looking back at you, you avoided his eyes trying not to be so obvious about his motor tics.

A gust of wind made the door’s chime moved, you look at the door, he didn’t.

The air was glacial, winter was definitely here, you blessed your mentor back in Cleveland for the warm coat she had offered you. Conyers was by far, colder than Cleveland.   
  
“Where’s your car?” You jumped at the sudden question.   
  
“I came with the last bus actually my car didn’t start this morning, 'was about to walk home, goodnight Detective.” Waving two fingers near your head you step backward and turned around.   
  
You heard him fiddle with his car keys, his door opening, and closing.   
  
“Wait, Doc!” Glancing back, he had his arms on the top of his car. “I’d rather drive you home if you don’t mind.”   
  
“Y/N, my name is Y/N, you chuckled to yourself thinking that you didn't even introduce yourself properly, you don’t have to really” unconsciously walking forward the car.   
  
“… It’s freaking cold, he paused, and look, it’s unsafe for anyone to walk at night like that.” He drummed on the car’s roof, keeping eye contact with you.    
  
“All right, all right. I cave.”

Seating in the car you became aware of the intimacy that the proximity created. As you told him your street, he stopped the car at the parking exit. His hands tightened the wheel.

“You were going to walk 30 minutes at night, alone!?” His sudden concerns and hardened expression had you confused.

He gave the wheel a turn and engaged the car on the main road not really waiting for your answer.

“I’m not stupid you know, I don’t go, _Gretel_ , every night.” Hand in your bag, a flashing blue light, and a buzzing sound got his attention.

“I can protect myself,” you said putting away the stun gun. His jaw relaxed a bit, his blinking became less erratic than a minute before.

“No gun?” The red light's halo engulfing the car, you scoffed.

“I am a doctor, remember? I don’t shoot people. I’m tired to see gun victims at the hospital.“

“True.” he stated not letting his eyes off the red light. “I better not get shot then.”

It was supposed to be a joke you guessed, but neither of you laughed.

“You better not!” You might have answered too genuinely, as silence fell in the car, his eyes left the red light to you, locking his blue eyes on yours. 

The red light causing a particular tension, you caught yourself unable to say something, he stayed silent too, his eyes skimming your facial features. You started to feel warm inside, your hands getting clammy, you started stressing out not understanding why your body reacted so easily. A bright green light made you blink, putting a stop to this awkward but intense moment, your heartbeat returned to his normal rhythm.

5 minutes passed without a word spoken, your phone buzzed in your hands, lightning the abode as a text message pop up on the screen. It was from Erin that you renamed ‘Hun’ in your contacts. You saw Loki glancing at your phone while waiting for a truck to turn. Few meters later you saw the stairs of your house.

“That’s me,” he parked in the driveway. His eyes darted around the house as if he was looking for something that might lurk in the dark.

“Nice house,” he stopped the engine.

“Thanks. I would offer you a cup of decaf but …”

“Don’t bother, your friend must be waiting for you. “ he half-heartedly smiled looking at your phone.

“My friend? You wondered, I don’t ..., and then you got it, you assume I had someone?” You chuckled, taken aback by your reaction his erratic blinking came back.

“Goodnight Detective” you simpered opening the door.

“I, uh ... Goodnight.” he offered a simple smile, his eyes boring into yours.

You nodded inevitably smiling. You text Erin back, deciding to keep for yourself the "ride home", way too tired to spend an hour on the phone with her. As soon as you entered your shower fatigue overwhelms you, 3 minutes top until your head hit the bed’s soft pillows. Didn’t have time to think about the evening with Loki that Morpheus reclaimed your body for at least 8 hours.

During days Erin harassed you with Loki after hearing the "ride home" story, it was as she said “a big move”. It didn't seem like it, you had learned not to expect anything from men or women for that matters. But you had to admit Loki was intriguing and somehow charming, you were willing to try a little harder than usual.


	3. Expecting the unexpected

“Hi, I’m here for stitches removal.” He announced typing his fingers on the desk.

“Hold on,” the nurse picked up a file while the phone kept ringing. Erin came at the desk, a tablet in hand.

“Detective Loki, hello, how can I help you?” She asked much more enjoyed than usual.

He eyed her confused. “Hello, uh I came to get my stitches removed.”

“Right, yes, you can wait in treatment 3, a Doctor will see you soon.” She smiled and lead him to the room.

You were putting your white coat on when Erin rushed in the locker room.

“Doctor Y/L/N! Y/N, you got a patient in treatment 3.”

“I’m not on shift yet Erin, be indulgent with me would you.” You stretch your arms above your head, and you saw her smirk.

“What is it?” you rearranged your collar. 

“You better take this case asap.” she shooed you out the locker room, making sure you were going to treatment 3.

“You’ll thank me later.” she winked and disappeared.

“What!?” You stood there confused, holding the tablet she gave you. Finally looking at the file opened on the tablet, your eyes widened. Rising your head, you squinted your eyes to found her and gut her with your stare. Unfortunately, she was smart enough not to stay in your sight. You took a deep breath and opened the door. Blue eyes locked onto yours immediately.

“Morning Doc!” he stopped pacing around the room finally seating on the bed. Doc it is, alright, you said to yourself.

“Good morning, Detective, how are these stitches?”

“You tell me.” He removed his jacket and lifted his black long sleeve top, you watched him do so from the corner of your eye as you put your gloves on, getting the kit from the drawer. He lowered his pants on his own this time, lying down, you gulped. It was pretty awkward now that you two knew each other but you’re professional self took control.

“Seems pretty, you asserted cleaning the stitches, you’re going to fill a tug when I removed the thread, tell me if you want me to stop.”

You waited for him to answer but he just nodded, placing your right arm on his left thigh for more stability you felt it tensed. You picked a sterile pincer to pick up the knots, at the same time grabbing surgical scissors to cut each one. The sound of the scissors on the aluminum tray echoed in the room, you could only hear the daily hospital bustle outside the room. Picking up a pincer to pull on the thread his abdomen suddenly contracted, he let out a hissed.

“Sorry,” you whispered still concentrated on the task. You repeated your action on the second wound as he watched your every move. While getting rid of the second thread you brushed his rib with your fingers feeling the cut, he inhaled slightly. Glancing up stealthily you caught him looking at you, he immediately averted his eyes, a grin crept onto your lips. After cleaning the wounds again and putting adhesive strips you were finally done.

“It shouldn’t leave bad scars if you take care of it seriously.” The gloves hit the open bin’s loop.

“Not the first scars …and it’s not like we have the beach here so…” He grinned, putting down his top.

“Your friend might mind.” You taunted, he smirked.

“Well I’ll see that, he said putting on his jacket as you put away the kit. 

The little hope you had faded at his saying. 

“When I have one.” he added.

“Oh … “ that’s all you could manage to say right now, finding out he was single took over any rational answer.

“Work is … taking all my time.” His hand unconsciously reaching his belt where his badge hanged.

“Welcome to the club!” You slide your chair to the corner letting a sigh escape, seizing the tablet and typing the prescription on it.

“I’ve sent you the procedure to get ‘pretty’ scars, if someday you moved to the west coast.” The corners of his mouth turned up and he chuckled, you opened the door. Not that you weren’t having a good time with him, but work does come first.

“Or happened to have time for a girlfriend,” he coaxed brushing past you on the threshold.

“Or that, you laughed softly clutching the tablet on your chest, gazing at him.

“Careful!” you grabbed his forearm pulling him forward, he looked behind to see a nurse with a cart entering the treatment room 2. One of his hand had left his pocket as an unconscious protective move and was now on your ribs. His attention resumed to you, he felt his hand on you so immediately removed it.

“Sorry” his thumb hooking on his belt, you shook your head. 

You were still pretty close, you let your hand slide on his arm, brushing his fingers. 

“I don’t mind.” you smiled coyly.

His lips parted “Could we…”

“Dr. Y/L/N?” you turned around to see a bunch of med students.

“Got to run, sorry” motioning to the group behind you.

He nodded, his jaw somewhat clenching.

“See you around?” he said taking a few steps backward.

“Hopefully not in the E.R” he smiled as you winked and turned to the group.

“All right, so today you’re with me, Dr. Y/L/N, observe, answer my questions and ask some, I’m insisting on this point don’t be afraid to ask, you’re here to learn.” 

“Did it go well!?” she casually asked entering the locker room.

“You little brat, you laughed, you’d do anything.” You closed your locker.

She paused “…f’course I would. Jamie told me you handed up quite close.” She wriggled her shoulders.

“Jamie? The med student? She nodded, it wasn’t like that, there was this nurse with the cart and,” … you saw her smiled widely “all right! I may happen to know that he is single and straight for that matter.”

“Yes! Kinda guessed he was though.” She shrugged.

“Thank god he is single, or I could be dealing with a legit annoyed girlfriend right now.” 

She laughed out loud. “Come on, it’s not like you two make-out in corners and don’t tell me you’re not glad to know he is.”

You passed by her, swinging your bag over your shoulder. “Maybe,” you smiled.

“Wait for me! I want details!!” she rushed to her locker as you laughed, leaning on the door frame.

A week passed, one morning you had to calm Erin when you ran into Loki at the coffee shop, she franctically nudged at your arm and pretexted a call as soon as he aproached you. Stealing the car keys from your hand, she grabbed her latte and disappeared, letting you 5 minutes top with him.

She almost didn’t open the car, telling you by the ajar window that it was too fast and you had to go back talk to him.

 

In the middle of the night, your phone rang, scaring the shit out of you. You hope the hospital wasn’t in need of a doctor. You hang off lazily putting the speaker on. 

“Hmm!?” You hummed eyes still closed.

“Y/N, something happened at the hospital, I don’t know what to do!!” You heard sobbed and finally got everything she said.

“Rach? Rachel is Erin with you!?” She tried to answer mumbling something.

“All right, I’m coming to get you!” Stumbling out of bed, you grabbed a hoodie, hop into yesterday’s jean and get down your stairs 2 by 2. Snatching your car keys on the way to the door.

“Shit!” The air was freaking cold against your bare face and bare feet in your shoes. Starting the engine, the clock on the board flashed 3:45 you’d be at Erin and Rach’s in about 15 minutes.

15 minutes to remember that Erin was on shift all night, you started imagining the worst, unconsciously speeding up. After picking up Rachel, she explained she had a call from the police, there has been a shooting at the hospital.

You stopped breathing, tears coming up your eyes, preparing yourself for the worst, Erin, all the people you work with flowed in your mind… Rach continued with difficulty.

“Erin is fine, but they wouldn’t let me know about the others. She was in the middle of it..” she sobbed.

“Where is she now, still at the hospital!?” you stroke her shoulder, trying to comfort her.

“At the police station, I told the officer we were coming.” you nodded and started back the engine.

Parking up at the police station you both rushed inside. The bustle was infernal, families were yelling at cops to know more about the shooting, if there were injured victims, some were still stained with blood, people were totally devastated. Concerned about your co-workers arise even more, you tried to remember tonight’s planning. 

The officer behind the glass had you signed a presence paper before you entered the main open room. 

“ERIN! Rach wailed running to her loved one. 

You let a relief sigh escape your lips, stopping a few steps behind them, your hands on your trembling knees, you close your eyes and breath deeply. Even though Rachel had told you Erin was fine seeing her was the best proof. You hugged them both. Erin couldn’t stop shaking, her eyes were puffy and receding, she kept looking at her bloody nurse blouse.

“Erin, hun, we need to remove your blouse, all right?“ you told her gently.

Rach helped her lift her arms as she was still in shock. Thankfully her top underneath didn’t get stained. 

You waited, hours, in the station, there were many witnesses, worried families, paperwork. Around 6 am, the coffee machine had become your savior, forehead on the vending machine you were waiting for your 5th coffee, you knew at this rate caffeine won’t be as effective, but it was better than staying seated in the main room with everyone. Most of your co-workers had left, some went back to the hospital, some went home, you started wondering what you would have done.

“Fuck!” You startled at the sudden voice, turning your attention to it, Loki came to you removing his beanie. An odd sense of safety overwhelmed you, he stopped a feet away.

“Are you okay!? He asked, his eyes sporting a worried look you hadn’t seen yet.

“Yeah, I mean … I wasn’t at the hospital, he sighed somehow relieved, can you tell me more about all this? Who’s the shooter, my friend almost died tonight!” your voice cracked.

Your breath got caught in your throat, saying it out loud made it way too real, taking support on the vending machine you inhaled deeply. The strong behavior you put up for Rachel and Erin crumbled in a matter of seconds, tears prickling at your eyes, legs quivering, you clenched your fits trying to control yourself.

“Calm down, he took a step further grabbing your shoulders, hey you’re okay.” His hand reached the side of your neck, his thumb brushing your jaw, forcing eye contact with you.

“Breathe, your friend is safe, you are safe.” You nodded, his other hand sliding a strand of hair aside your face, you slowly regained your composure, concentrating your breathing on his.

He looked around, “Get your friend and follow me okay.“ He retrieved his hands becoming self-conscious, you stood straight up and sniffed, pulling yourself together, you waved at Rach to brought Erin as you followed Loki in an empty office. Erin sat on the two-place couch followed by Rachel. You stayed up as Loki sat on the desk.

“You remember the guy I brought in the hospital a few weeks ago? The guy who got shot by an officer and passed away…” 

“And stabbed you.” You cut him furrowing your brows.

“Yeah, … well, the shooter is his brother, we found multiple weapons in their house. Don’t ask me why he decided to take on the hospital, I don’t know yet. I’m just glad he’s a bad shooter, no loss, only injuries, bruises and shock are to deplore, he said looking at Erin, he’s been arrested immediately.”

“Thanks for letting us know.” Rach nodded stroking Erin’s hair. He pursed his lips, looking away.

“Did someone took the deposition and brief you around the all procedure?” he asked Rach, then glanced at you.

“No, actually it’s been hectic, there are so many people out there,” you answered looking at the crowd behind the blinds.

“Okay, wait here” he stood up and disappeared a few minutes, you paced the office, biting your thumbnail, while Rach rocked Erin in her arms.

Loki came back with a laptop. “I’ll take your deposition, so you can go home.” he stated.

Lips parting in surprised, you watched him settle in the office. “Thanks! you exclaimed, can we stay with her?” he nodded looking intently at you.

Erin hesitantly sat in front of him at the desk while you joined Rachel on the couch.

You tried not to stare at him as he was concentrated on his job, typing faster than you’ve imagined. You noticed his erratic blinking again, trying to remember in all the med books you had read where it could come from. Lost in the medical side of your brain you didn’t hear him said it was done. Rach nudged at your arm.

“Hm, sorry?” you blinked.

“The Detective said we could go.” Rachel replied taking Erin by the shoulders, she glanced at Loki then you.

“Oh all right.” You stood up and watch him open the door for them, Rach looked at you both.

“We’ll … wait in the car, Rachel said eyeing you intensely, you patted your hoodie’s pocket searching for your keys, she grabbed them and initiated a smile.

“I hope your friend will get through quickly.” He leaned on the door frame, crossing his arms.

“She’s strong, she’ll make it. And she has Rachel to rely on.” You watched the girls going through the crowded station.

He nodded. “Y/N … your name on his lips was oddly satisfying. I’m glad you weren’t at the hospital, I got … worried when I heard the radio call and that I couldn’t check on you.” He nervously scoffed. 

You genuinely were stricken by his saying, it didn’t occur to you that someone could have been worried for you, nevertheless him.

“That’s…nice, you sputtered,… thanks, uhm you clumsily look for your phone… here” you handed him, so he could register his number and get yours. 

He handed it back taking a step further. The adrenaline of tonight rushing out, you took a deep breath.

“Will you be okay?” he softly inquired.

“Yeah, I passed the panic stage.” you sneered squeezing your wrist.

“Can we meet later, he asked, I don’t know how much time I’ll have but …” 

“Call me! you urged. I’ll surely be at Erin’s. Thanks again.” Your hand pressed against his chest and in a spunk, you kissed his right cheek. He smiled a little and so did you as you passed by him.

 

You were cooking breakfast, while Rach was helping Erin cleaned up when your phone rang, quickly you wipe your hands on your jean. 

“Hey, …” you recognized his voice.

“Hey…where are you?“ you inquired biting your lower lip

“Outside your friend’s house.” 

“Ok, m'coming”

Putting back your hoodie on, you told Rach you were going out a few minutes.

The sun wasn’t up yet, an opaque mist covered the road and grass around the block. He was parked on the other side of the road, waiting for you outside his car. Crossing the road hands buried in your hoodie’s pocket, you felt the urge to hug him even though it was very sudden and very early in what was going on between the two of you but you just needed some support, taking care of Rach and Erin while being exhausted took a real toll on you.

“Can I be bluntly honest and maybe bold with you right now?” You asked stopping a few feet away from him.

“Go on” he answered amused.

“I won’t say no to a hug.” You balance on your feet but stopped as the cold entered your sweater.

“Bold indeed” he looked down, you thought you’d blown it.

He pushed himself from his car and grab your sleeve bringing you into his arms. Caging your body with a strong hold, he slid his arms around your shoulders, you felt tiny into his arms, yours encircling his waist inside his jacket. Resting your head on his chest, you felt his hand caressed your hair, you tightened your embrace. You shuddered at the feeling of one of his hand reaching your waist, his grip tightened.

“Get in the car, you’re freezing.” He whispered.

You sat in the passenger seat and scoot over to him, facing his way. Knocking an empty coffee cup over with your knee, the handbrake bruising your calf. His features relaxed, he looked down at your hand slipping in your sleeve to keep it warm. He reached out taking it between his.

“Did you sleep?” he asked, concentrating on your hand.

“I slept, … you count on your fingers, 4 hours since my last shift, you let out a stifled laugh, you didn’t sleep much either I bet.” you frowned.

“I don’t sleep a lot in general.” he looked away almost ashamed.

“I could look at you and say that.” you taunted, trying to change the mood. 

“Well, thanks” he chuckled, you shook your head laughing.

“Do you want breakfast? I was cooking some for the girls.” you pointed at the house.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea.” he peeked in the rear-view mirror as a woman opened her garage door.

“Oh…” you started retrieving your hand from his.

“I mean, grasping at your hand, your friend has gone through a lot, I bet she doesn’t want an officer in her house.” He offered a half-smile.

“Touché … but believe me, if it wasn’t for this night’s event, she would like to have you and me for dinner at least.” You laughed, knowing she would indeed be thrilled to see you dating him.

“Dinner sounds great though… you and me.” he blurted out, squeezing at your hand.

“Definitely.” you caught a glimpse of the house’s door opening, Rach’s head popping out. He looked at his left following your look, Rach closed the door trying to be discreet.

“Thank you again, for earlier.” He looked back at you, you leaned in deposing a gentle kiss on his sharp jaw, taking way more time than necessary.

He blinked like he did earlier, you waited for a sign from him, something that would tell you to go further but it didn’t come.

“Try to sleep.” he released your hand after a gentle squizz, you nodded a bit confused.

 

“Was it the Detective from earlier?” Rach asked taking a glass of juice. Erin lifted her head from her untouched plate.

“It was, yeah.” You didn’t elaborate more thinking it wasn’t the right time.

“Tell me you didn’t blow your chance.” Erin suddenly mumbled.

“She talks! You scoffed, and a little smirk appeared on her face, and no I did not ..I think.., per contra.” You winked, pressing the last orange.

“She was in his car, really close to him.” Rach giggled.

“I missed that!” Erin whined.

You urged her to eat something, while they asked details about your encounter with Loki. They were relentless, but seeing Erin thinking about something else than the incident was great. Rachel and you busied her mind with some trivial topics all day. 

You wondered where it would get you. Getting in a relationship was not something you had in mind at first, but then again he didn’t react when you kissed his cheek so you didn’t know where exactly this were going.

“Don’t overthink this Y/N!” You scolded yourself


	4. Two birds, no stone

Thanksgiving was around the corner, meaning you were short on staff at the hospital leaving you no time to spend at home. Erin and Rachel were at Rach’s parents, they had tried to convince you to come but family dinners were not your thing, even more with a family you practically don’t know. 

2 days before Thanksgiving you crossed paths with Detective Loki. Since last time you didn’t really have time to meet, so you took a few minutes around a coffee to catch up. He noted that you were alone on Thanksgiving’s night so managed to invite you for dinner. 

“Dr Y/L/N, I’m sorry but we need you to stay on shift tonight, we’re shorthanded.” The HR announced as you were taking your break. You cursed under your breath, the HR gave you an apologetic smile. Phone in hand, waiting for Loki to pick-up you hoped he was busy too, it would make it easier.

“Hey,” he answered, you heard rustling papers, he was surely at work, you huffed alleviate.

“Hi, uhm, I’m sorry I won’t be able to make it tonight. Got to stay at the hospital. Understaffed.” You announced at once, ripping off the bandage as fast as possible. He could understand, it’s kind of the same at the station. He inhaled on the other side of the phone.

“Duty is duty, don’t worry.”

“Come out next year, and we’ll do it all over again ok?” you heard him chuckle

“Let’s do that but not next year.” He offered hopefull.

“Agreed, see you soon then.” You bid goodbyes wishing each other a happy Thanksgiving.

Little did you know after your call he asked to stay on shit for the night.

A few hours later, you were finally free from the Hospital but you frowned as soon as you put a foot outside. By the time you reached your car you were soaked, the heavy rain whipped your windshield, making driving difficult indeed it took you twice the time to head home. It was 2 am on your kitchen clock, you wondered if Loki was still up, you texted him not expecting an immediate answer so went to bed immediately.

You woke up around 9am, dragging your overly tired self to the coffee machine, checking your phone while the hot liquid filled the big cup. Rach and Erin had ranted about how Thanksgiving at Rach’s parents went horribly awkward. Erin had even sent a ‘rescue me’ video from Rach’s parents’ toilet in the group chat, you couldn’t help yourself to smile and blessed yourself for not going.

No answer from Loki, you felt this inescapable pang in your stomach when you find yourself led, in the blink of an eye, to question your own emotional life.

Then your phone buzzed.

“Busy, talk to you soon, sorry. Loki” you stayed silent reading the text multiple times, somehow relieved that he had answered but not quite sure of how to render the text. Trying to find something to say, you finally decided for an “Ok sure.”

You drink your coffee lost in your thoughts, heading to the living room. The news on TV blurting the Thanksgiving usual hazards: Snowy roads; traffic jams; accidents; lost items in turkeys…

“Yesterday in the usually quiet town of Conyers, Thanksgiving turned into a horrid day for two families. Two little girls disappeared in broad daylight. Soon one suspect was in custody, he was apparently driving an RV that was parked in the girls’ neighbourhood early in the day. He tried to run away with his vehicle when found at a gas station parking late last night. The two girls are still missing as we speak.”

“Damn it.” you shook your head sighing, what is wrong with people you thought while listening to the news and at the same time checking your sns.

“Detective Loki from the Conyers Department of Police has been appointed to the case.”

Raising your head from your phone, mouth agape at the TV, you rewind all the pieces of information in your mind. If you had known sooner you would have said something else in the text. Long minutes passed, during which you wondered if you should send him another message. The blinking cursor in the box “new message” seemed to became impatient until the buzz of a call made you jump. 

“Y/N, have you heard about …!? A honk made you put the phone away from your ears. Only two words “Loki”, “abduction” were audible.

“Hello to you too, yes I’ve just heard, that’s awful!”

“Yeah, hi, definitely not good timing for you though!”

“Erin!” you scolded and heard Rachel do the same. 

“Okay okay, just trying to lighten the mood.” she apologized.

“Where are you by the way?” you turned the TV off.

“Traffic jams.” She sighed, another honk resonated in the phone, you heard Rachel swear at another driver.

“Tell me when you’re home. And … we should stop the night’s run for now just in case.”

“I wish we had to stop for another reason.”

“Yeah, call me okay.”

“Yeah bye.”

Instead of the usual run, you met with the girls for board games, usually, it involved a bottle of wine and Rachel’s exquisite cuisine. 

“Okay, hear me out” she put her glass on the ground, you rolled your eyes. All night she had asked about Loki.

“What about your needs Y/N? I feel like you’re waiting for him to finally give you some time of his, as you’re not a priority.”

“I’m not a priority right now Erin.” You sipped on your wine. 

“You know what I mean. I am just afraid that you’re making his needs overpass yours without taking care of how you feel in all of that.” Her hands making big gestures, you grabbed them.

“We’re not even a couple or something, calm down! you smiled, I’m not blinded by the guy, I know what I worth, what I deserve. And my needs, for now, are fine thank you.” You stifled a laugh at her frowning face. 

“I shouldn’t have pushed for something to happen between you two.” she said questioning her cupid skills

“Ok, you released her hands and continued, look at me back in Cleveland, the exams took over me, the internship at the hospital was a disaster and how many times did you present me a guy?” 

“Lots of times…” she mumbled

“Yeah, and you want to know why it never worked out?”

“They were assholes.” She grimaced

“Hm mostly yeah, but I wasn’t ready to be in a relationship! My mind was elsewhere, I had no time to take care of my physical and mental health as much as I should have. It was a hard time, you witnessed it.”

She nodded admitted it.

“I’m fine now but I can’t crash into his life like that and take his focus out of this case especially because I know it won’t work out since he is concentrating on his duty.” 

“I got it okay, but there will always be another case and did he text you or something …”

“I know but I like to think we’ll have a moment of respite. And he’s not quite the texter but that’s fine by me, you know I’m not a good morning and good night’s texts kind of person.”

She stared at you squinting her eyes, you mimicked her wondering.

“You really want the guy!” she caught you so off guard that you almost spit your wine.

“Miss the point by miles, you cough, but yeah let’s say that.” You both cracked into laughter. She was still a bit concerned, but she got around in the end.

 

40hours after the abduction, no sign of Loki except on the news, thankfully you had lots of work at the hospital so you didn’t have time to let your mind wander.

When you heard the indictment of the paedophile priest, you almost threw a tantrum in the break room.

“How the fuck that asshole is still in charge of a church, he is surrounded by children all the fucking day!” you screamed at the tv, scaring the surgeon next to you, some students looked at you from the lunch table. The ringtone coming from your pocket made you walk out and step outside on the emergency staircase allowing you to take some fresh air.

“Hi there..,”

“Hey, I’m sorry I didn’t call sooner”

“No no, it’s okay I’ve seen the news. I know you have a lot to do … and the freaking priest … I mean why is that guy still out there.”

“I don’t know Y/N, I’m not a judge.” He answered with a tight voice.

“Right sorry, I jumped on you, it’s just that..it’s really upsetting.” you sighed rubbing your eyes.

A 2-seconds silence felt, giving you both opportunity to breathe in and change the subject.

“Are you all right?” You asked

“Tired mostly, he inhaled, I wish .. I could see you without feeling guilty .. but my mind is on the case..” 

“Hey hey, you shushed gently, it’s okay, they are the priority here.”

“Why didn’t we met at another time.” He said gravely.

“At least we’ve met, even though you had to be stabbed for it to happen.” He chuckled over the phone. “I have to go back, be careful out there.”

“You got my word.”

He hung up, you took a big breath of fresh air before stepping back in the building, thinking of what he said. What would have happened if you had met at another time?

Erin bumped into you.   
“The community is organizing a vigil in front of the Birch’s house tomorrow night, she handed you a flyer, you’re coming?”

“Yeah, I’ll drop by your place so we can go together.” she nodded and you sighed looking at the face of the two little girls on the handout.


	5. Respect all, trust few

A bunch of folks gathered in front of the Birch’s house that night. People were murmuring about the disappearances, their curiosity sometimes being way too intrusive. Plush and toys disposed on the grass between candles, sobbings were heard. 4 days had passed since the abduction, as a doctor, you knew they could still be alive even without water and food, but children are delicate, the thought of someone hurting a child made you sick. The first suspect, Alex Jones, had been released but was now missing too it was a big mess. Your internal ranting got interrupted as you catch a glimpse of a familiar face.

Loki was there, scanning the little crowd, you wondered if he had seen you. Still watching him out the corner of your eye, he started to make his way into the mass, your heart rate accelerated seeing his determined features, for a second thinking he’d seen you and come to you but instead he kept going forward, your eyes following his figure intently until he started running towards the houses. You gasped slightly.

“what the…” your body faced the way he ran, you felt Erin’s hand on yours.

“What is it…?” she glanced beside you trying to see what got your attention but failed to.

You didn’t want to alarm her as you didn’t know what you had just witnessed. “Nothing, damn it’s cold,” you hushed up, blowing warm air on your gloves’ hand.

Erin had begged you to stay with them tonight, a good bottle of wine seemed like a good idea to somehow cheer up the three of you.

Erin sat on her carpet. “What do you think happened to that kid, the Jones kid?”

“Must have run away,” Rachel answered, grabbing a candle off a shelf. You just shrugged.

“Hey what did you see back there?” Erin inquired eyeing the candle Rach just light on.

“Oh nothing,…just Detective Loki was there. Surely in case, the culprit showed up to satisfy any perverse desire.” You three shuddered at the thought of the kidnapper being there in the crowd.

“Did he see you? He could have come over.” Rach propped herself up on the couch.

“Yeah, I could have invited him tonight.” Erin nodded.

“I don’t think a community gathering, especially for two missing girls, is the right place to banter. Plus he was certainly on duty. “

They both grimaced sipping on the red liquid.

Calls were the only way to talk with him at least for a few minutes but this night’s call with Loki ended up quite tense…

“Are you sleeping?” your voice was a bit sluggish because of the wine, his however not at all. 

“I don’t have time for that” he retorqued.

“I know but …, you have to rest!” you begged

“Is it the doctor talking? I don’t need sleep advice right now. I have to go!” He hung up immediately.

“what the…” you look at your phone in disbelief, “moron…”

And this is who police are saying is a person of interest in the investigation of the two missing girls. Now, this unidentified man who was last seen at last night’s candlelight vigil, fled on foot when the investigating detective attempted to question him. Police caution the public not to approach this man, but call police immediatly if they do see him.

You came by the station on your day off, to kind of get things right with Loki. Quietly stepping in the open space where you knew his desk was, he wasn’t there.

“Can I help you?” An officer asked lifting his head from a cubicle.

“I’m looking for Detective Loki?” Clenching the coffee cups on your chest a little bit.

“He went to the archive, he should … well never mind.” he pointed behind you. Turning on your heels, Loki stopped at the door, your hand lifted a little from the coffee lids as a wave. A little smile appeared on your lips, he didn’t smile back.

“Come with me.” He said not showing any emotions at all. You followed him to a room, all the blinds were done, a large table with a few chairs in the middle, you put the coffee on it and turned to him, he closed the door and leaned on it, crossing his arms. You breathed in.

“It’s really not the right time.” He finally talked. At first, you were baffled but you knew better.

“I thought a good coffee and some support would help…” you answered comprehensive and stepped forward to go, but he didn’t budge from the door. He blinked a few times and for the first time you entered the room, he looked at you.

He shook his head, “sit”, he gestures to the chairs, it was more like a shy demand than an order though. You leaned on the edge of the table.

“Coffee?” You proposed glancing beside you at the two steaming black coffee, his demeanour changed as he approached the table, planting himself right before you. He was unnecessarily close yet it was definitely not unpleasant, his body warmth radiating around your own. He had rolled up his sleeves, you could see he had another tattoo on his right arm.

He reached out for the coffee, closing his eyes as he enjoyed the burning caffeine going down his throat, you watched him all along in silence.

“Talk to me. I know it’s a difficult time right now, you reached for his hand, but I need you to take care of you.”

His rolled his eyes taking a few steps backwards, his hands on his hips, turning his back to you. You continued keeping a soft voice.

“You can’t go around sleep-deprived, you might miss something Loki!“ 

“What do you want me to do, hm?” He turned back. “Go home, sleep 8hours straight and come back like that, we’re counting hours,” his finger pointing to the ground.

“I’m not saying holidays, all I’m saying is to take some time, at least 2-3 hours of sleep each day, you’re not the only Detective here, they know the case.”

“How would you know!?“ he waved his hand at you.

You didn’t answer, the point wasn’t to argue or lecture him but to make him aware that he had to look after himself.

“You won’t be of any help if you keep on going like that. I’m telling you because I care, for the girls, the families and you!”

“Don’t you think I care?” His voice went up.

“That’s the point, you surprised yourself as your voice rose a notch, caring is what makes you the effin good Detective you are! Unless you’re caring beyond your own good and senses. You’re looking for answers, but if you neglect yourself you might not find some.”

A silence fell, he stayed leaned on the blinds crushing them, revealing the open space behind, your mind drift there for a minute watching a woman officer bringing in a man in handcuffs. 

You didn’t felt him approached until he was nudging at your knee. His left-hand slide on the table reaching your own, he rested his other hand on the table on the other side of you, his head hanging low, you bet his eyes were shut. The silence was necessary, he needed calm to escape, just for a moment, the mess outside that room, to assess your discussion. 

Lightly moving your left hand onto his tattooed skin, to finally brushed the nape of his neck you felt him tense at your touch. He leaned in his temple against yours.

“I’ll try. he inhaled, forgive me …I wish I could be there…” 

“Hey, you whispered back feeling his cheek on yours, some stubble prickling at the softness of your skin, out of sight, not out of mind.”

He looked at you then, your eyes bouncing between his blue ones as he stared at you, his hand caressed your cheek then slide down your neck.

"Loving the sight tho” he smirked a little.

You chuckled at the cheesiness although it made you fluttered, your hand slide from the back of his neck to his chest, feeling the rise and fall of his thorax. His other hand slightly brushed the skin over your knee, you blessed yourself for wearing a dress today. The tension between you two was perceptible, his eyes on your lips as he leaned closer, you force yourself to swallow, finding it hard to breathe now that he was so close. 

“Loki, the chef is asking…for you”

The door opened in a flash, you hastily retrieved your hand and rubbed it with your thumb, looking away. Loki took a step backwards, his hands back on his hips. 

“I’ll be right there.” he nodded at the officer whom left confused, before looking back at you. Standing further away from him now, he frowned at the distance you had put between you two. 

Without saying much you walked to him, stopping to kiss his jaw languidly. His hand snaked around your waist resting on your low back, you sighed slightly resting your lips near his.

“Call me whenever you need.” you whispered before slowly pushing yourself away.

“Take care and be careful out there, please.” he pleaded, you winked.


	6. The Void screams back

Board game, you were losing against Rachel, Erin was already down for 10 minutes she was starting to get bored, fortunately, your phone rang allowing you to escape.

"Ok ok I give up, you win, I lose" you admitted, Rachel cheered for herself oh so humbly, cheering her own name while taking a victory pose, with Erin has a spectator, a not so impressed spectator.

Looking back at your phone, your eyebrows furrowed.

"Loki?" you wondered as he was supposed to be on shift tonight.

"......."

"Hey, do you hear me?" You look at the screen wondering if you had not clumsily hung up but no.

"...."

"I can’t hear you, you okay?" Rachel and Erin stopped their doing and look at you pacing around the kitchen isle.

"Hun everything all right?" asked Erin

You shook your head, turning the volume up in case your phone was acting up.

"Loki, talk to me!" your voice increased

Then the call ended leaving you alarmed and concerned 

"Y/N, what is it?" Rachel stood up and walk to you

"I don't know, he called and didn't say anything, I only heard him breathe.”

"Try calling him back" Rachel insisted, you poke the call button, putting the speaker on.

"Voicemail, you dropped your phone on the kitchen isle, fuck" your head in your hands trying to think of what to do, anything could have happened.

"You know what, we’re going to drive you to the police station, he must be there, right?" She turned to Rach' who nodded.

"No! no he’s not gonna like it, he must be busy…" you tried to convince yourself

"The hell with this, you don't call people and leave them awaiting and nervous. Wake up Y/N I’ve seen you fight for less, what’s up with you!" Erin flared up

She kicked your ass with a simple sentence, she was right, you’re known to keep a cool head whenever a situation is alarming but right now you were losing it.

.

In the meantime you had heard about the possibilities of the girls being dead as they found pieces of clothing from the little girls with blood on it. 

"What the effin ...fuck" Rachel whispered as you saw the coroner's van in front of the police station.

"Oh lord" you started panicking.

"Wo wo wo, Y/N, breathe we don't know shit, alright!" Erin tried to calm you down, while Rachel was parking the car.

"Want us to go with you!?" she asked

You hesitated "I’ll be okay, thank you” they both nodded.

“We’ll wait here.”Erin added

You squeezed past two officers and the coroner. Your eyes trying to analyze the situation

"The fuck!" you said when you saw him, he stood up as you approached.

"I said call me, but you could at least talk! You scared me!!" you hit his chest then saw his eyes were red and stopped yelling at him.

"Gosh, what happened!?"

He shook his head staying silent

“Loki, you don’t have to be tough every time, especially not with me.” You stated just for him to hear.

Seeing him hesitant, you look around and grabbed his hand bringing him in the same office he took Erin’s deposition few weeks prior.

Closing the door behind you, he sat on the office couch, head in his hands, hesitantly you sat beside him. Your right arm encircling his broad shoulders stroking his back, while your left hand hugged his arm, in an attempt to calm him down. After a few minutes he opened, he told you about the suspect, Bob Taylor, shooting himself in the interrogation room, you tightened your embrace as you felt him quavered.

His hands were still shaking, his eyes avoiding yours, he blamed himself for pushing the guy too far, for not being able to find the girls. He started thinking that Dover was right, that he had let this happened while watching him.

He was renting, almost losing his mind about it.

“stop, stop, you crouched in front of him, his head still hanging low you were now at eyes level. It’s not on you! It’s on whoever took the girls, you are doing your job, you hear me! Yes, you've messed up, but remember you're only human."

"That guy died because I've messed up!"

"I know, believe me, ...I've been there, I know what guilt feels like when you lose a person under your surveillance ... I ..” you saw Captain O’Malley through the blinds coming to the door. 

“Excuse me, who are you!?” he asked as soon as he opened the door. You immediately felt assaulted so shut yourself, your inner “don’t f*ck with me* self emerged. 

“I’m a Doctor at the St Celestine hospital.”

“And?” he insisted

“I came to see my patient, you are disturbing a private conversation between a patient and his doctor and so the professional secret.”

He looked at you aghast, Loki rised all of sudden. 

“Give me 5 minutes, he said to his Captain who hesitated, you’ll have the time to shout at me in a few!” Loki added a bit exasperated.

He finally left, letting the door opened.

“Asshole.” you mumbled 

“You can’t even imagine..” your attention returned to Loki “forgive me, for the call ...and .. thank you .. really ... I feel like I’m always apologizing to you.” he kissed your forehead

“Don’t worry about that, I’ll be at the hospital if you need me.” squeezing his hand you head for the door, he followed. Captain O’Malley let his chair slide along his desk to eye you both from his office. Loki nodded at you as a goodbye.

 

“So?” Erin inquired

“There .... there has been an accident, a suspect killed himself inside.” you dropped in the car seat.

“Oh ..., an awkward silence fell in the car, wanna come back and play Catan or ..I drive you home?” Rach glanced at you in the rear view mirror.

“As tempting as it may be, I'll go straight to work, I need to keep myself busy. And you already won twice, I’m done with this game.” you scoffed

“Fair enough” she proudly smiled.

“Does it mean I’m supposed to go with you an hour before my shift?” Erin whined

“I'm not driving you.” Rachel announced, Erin looked at her jaded.

“Traitor!” Erin whispered


	7. Trauma

Exsomnis  
Chapter 7 - Trauma

Exsomnis: Wakeful, Vigilant  
Summary: Fresh Doctor out of residency you didn’t expect Conyers to be this uneventful until everything happened at the same time. From the outset, an odd meeting with what seems like a steadfast Detective but it was only the beginning.

Notes: English is not my native language, I’m trying to get better at it, please be indulgent.

Based on the movie Prisoners by Denis Villeneuve (so I don’t own any of the OG characters) if you haven’t seen it, I recommend you do (maybe before reading) :) The story takes place before and through the event in the movie.

image  
The little Joy had been rushed to the hospital by a woman, she had found her running near the highway 30 minutes ago. After asking the head nurse to have the case and getting rejected you went to your colleague.

“Dr Vera can we switch patient?” you requested

He eyed you over his glasses. 

“and why should I say yes?” he was known to be an asshole but you tried anyway.

“Coz’ you owe me one.”

He sighed.

“Come on you know I was in Pediatrics during my internship. The E.R is all yours for at least a few hours.”

His eyes almost sparkle.

Entering Joy’s room with the tablet, someone followed closely.

“How is she? Can she talk?” Loki asked the nurse who looked at you as he entered.

“She won’t be able to answer to anything for now. She’s been highly drug, she needs to rest.” you declared eyes on the screen.

“When then!?” He fumed, the nurse tried to tell him gently to calm the hell down.

You sighed, “I’ll let you know.” He was about to open his mouth once again to yell.

“Not now Detective!” You countered firmly. The nurse froze on the other side of the bed, her eyes bouncing between the two of you.

“Prepare her for the Pediatrics please.” You ordered the nurse, she nodded getting back to the main desk. Loki went out followed by you.

Taking a big breath to stay calm you turn to him. “I understand you must find Anna, but Joy is not of any use right now.” He didn’t answer first then his eyes flickered “Don’t get in my way!” he retorqued still lost in his thoughts.

“Fuck you Loki!” You immediately lost your self-control, you were on the edge to slap him he was being a complete moron, he didn’t waver at your answer. At the same moment, Joy’s parents rushed in, shoving Loki to the side. He left, ordering cops around. Your attention turned to the Birch giving them Joy’s state.

“She ingested drugs, but she’ll be fine now, her body started to eliminate it on his own, she won’t be suffering any side effect like an addiction. She needs rest, we’ll move her upstairs in the Pediatrics in a few.”

Mrs Burch was caressing her child’s forehead, tears running down her face, you knew she wasn’t really listening. Mr Birch nodded to you, wiping his eyes.

“Let the nurse know if you need anything.” 

You left the room, avoiding some officers. You demanded to follow Joy’s case up to Pediatrics. Excusing yourself from the unit, you step on the outdoor emergency staircase, you let out a cry of annoyance griping the handrail tight. As much as you knew the emotional and stressful burden that Loki was under, talking to you, especially you, like that was too much.

Joy's advance results were back from the lab, frowning at her sats you felt a presence behind you.

“So he's here ...” Erin appeared.

“Yep” you sighed

“Not going to lie, I liked him better before” she watched him from afar. Loki was reviewing things with the other Detective in the corridor.

“No kidding. Don't worry he's getting on my nerves too right now.” You tap on the screen a bit too hard, it made the screen wobble.

“What exactly did you see in him?” she continued, rubbing salt in the wound.

“Don't you have a job to do?” you suggested

“Break time, she said dismissing your question, he is stressing me!” she crossed her arms leaning on the desk.

“Remember when you practically shoved me in a room with him? you contributed to this happening.” pointing to him then to you, she immediately felt offended.

“Oh come on! Don't kill the cupid!” she cried

“Cupid AH! you fake laughed, see you later … Cupid my ass” you mumbled.

“No makeup shenanigans in maintenance lockers!” she whispered following you before turning right while you turned left to the lift.

“You're hilarious.” you said not amused, she, on the other hand, was wriggling her eyebrows as she always does.

10 minutes later the Dovers came in, a nurse might have seen you sighed because she passed by you letting you know that she got this one. Although you understood Mr Dover frantic actions, the man scared you a little. The elevator rang, and you heard Loki’s voice, mix feelings engulfed you as he passed the desks shouting to an officer. Suddenly Mr Dover exited Joy’s room, followed by his wife, your eyes bounced between him and Loki, everything happened in a blink of an eye, Mr Dover started running down the hallway, Loki yelled, pursuing him.

Rushing to Joy’s side just in case, you saw she was okay, she was awake but still weak. Most of the staffs presumed Mr Dover was the kidnapper, that’s why he ran they said. Despite his extremely weird behaviour and Loki’s fucking mood, the only thing that mattered to you at this moment was taking care of Joy. Seeing her state, you were really worried about Anna’s as she was tinier than the Birch’s child

Later on, you were back in the E.R while Joy was resting since she was stable.

“WE NEED A DOC HERE!” The head nurse called out, you rushed at the two medics bringing a young man.

“What do we got?”

“Male, around 30, GCS 4, he got into V-fib in the ambo but stable now.”

“What the hell,” you uttered observing with horror his face tumefies, probably broken nose and jaw, patches of burn skins all over. He couldn’t even open one of his eyes.

“Transfer on my count, 1.2.3!”

“Thanks guys,” the medics exited giving you room. Nurses bustle around him.

“BP 100 over 70, sats 98, heart rate 196.“ A nurse read the screen.

“I need an X-ray, ultrasound, EKG for now.” You ordered.

“It’s Alex Jones,” the grave voice at your left announced, Loki was there in the door frame. His face was shut, his jaw tensed and like every time he’s stressed out, he was blinking erratically.

After checking the X-ray and ultrasound you hissed at the result, this kid was not out of the woods. The nurse pushed in the IV some morphine, 2 nurses started cutting Alex’s clothes getting rid of it to see any other injuries. You took this time to grab Loki.

“Should I know something?” You searched for his eyes, rubbing your hands with the anti-bacterial gel.

He sighed, rubbing his eyes with his thumb and index. “We found him enclose in a 5m² bathroom, he might have been there a solid week. An officer we’ll be here shortly to take photographs of his face and body.”

“I’ll brief the nurses.” He nodded still avoiding unnecessary eye-contact. It wasn’t the time to argue about earlier, so you went back to Jones’ side.

The head nurse had been harassing you to take a break for an hour so you went to take a nap in an intern room but someone decided to knock on the door.

“Yeah?” You mumbled, looking at your badger in case you had missed a call.

“Doctor Y/L/N, the detective is asking for you.“

“Which detective?” you asked propping up, resting your elbows on your knees rubbing your eyes.

“Loki,” his voice was grave he passed the nurse entering the tiny room. You gestured to the chair near the desk, he hesitated but sat. The nurse closed the door eyeing you first.

“Did Alex Jones said something?” his voice was tired and less annoyed than earlier.

“He can’t really talk, his jaw is damaged and as you know this kid he’s not entirely there. Is his aunt coming soon?"

“I’m going over her house in a few.”

“Careful...” you were thinking about M.Dover who was outside looking for his daughter, he might become dangerous.

Nodding, the exchange stopped letting an awkward silence settle, his hand brushed his forehead, he stood up inhaling, regaining his composure.

“Y/N ...” BIP BIP BIP your pager rang.

“Got to go!” Grabbing your blouse, you passed by him, on the way out you gently squeezed his forearm as a comforting gesture, you couldn’t help it, but you were not going to sat him down and talked to him like you had done before, the ball was now in his court.


	8. Don't die on me

Snow was falling at last, the head nurse Joan greeted you with a chill.

"I hate snow." She declared gazing outside

"Makes me nostalgic somehow ... even tho I'm freezing my ass out." You giggled at your sentence, letting your coat dropped from your shoulders, removing your beanie.

A brake squeal made you look back outside as you were about to go get change. A blue beacon flashed outside lighting up the snowy night sky. Adrenaline rushed into your body like it knew something big was happening. A shadow rushed into the doors.

“HELP!! HELP!! “Y/N” HELP!!” you ran to him, letting your stuff drop to the ground and grabbing the fragile body of Anna instead, eyeing with horror Loki’s bleeding face as he collapsed on his knees.

“HE NEEDS A DOCTOR NOW!!!” you yelled as you ran to the first med bed on your way, putting the little girl on it. You had to trust your co-worker with Loki, while you concentrated on Anna.

“Blood samples, toxicology, gastric lavage, let’s start with that.” Two nurses and you busied around the unconscious kid.

Joan had her family called immediately, 20 minutes later her mother and brother were there, in tears. She was still unconscious, a tube in her nose washing out her stomach.

As you predicted it, Anna being tinier than Joy, she had more trouble getting through it, but after a few stressing hours she was finally stable.

Her mother never leaving her side, you came back in the morning, to check her vitals, Mrs Birch and her daughter were there,

"She'll be moved to the Pediatrics as soon as there is a place. Let me know if you need anything." 

It was 8am when you finally had your break.

“Joan, badge me if Anna Keller wakes up please, 'm going upstairs a few minutes.”

“Copy that” the head nurse answered

.

“Hi, can you tell me the room Detective Loki's in please” you asked at the second floor's desk.

“Room 38, Doctor.”

“Thanks”

Approaching the room you saw him sitting on the bed reading the newspapers, you quietly watch him, leaning on the door frame.

“Hey tough guy” you softly spoke

His tired look posed on you, a tight smile appeared on his lips.

“Hey doc'” his right eye was tumefied, injected with blood.

“Before you ask, Anna’s fine” he nodded sighing “well-done officer” you entered the room, pumping a dab of antibacterial gel in your hands from the dispenser.

“May I?” you looked at his stitches on his forehead.

“Still treating your patient even if he’s been a complete ass to you?” he shyly asked

“Indeed you were … glad you admit it." you started removing the adhesive.

"I'm ... you're probably tired to hear me apologizing, he scoffed, I shouldn't have lashed out on you, I have no excuse."

"Remember when I said “you better not get shot?” you inquired, changing the gauze from his adhesive plaster and the subject at the same time.

“I’ll make it up to you ... somehow..” his eyes searched yours, but you were concentrating on your task.

“You better keep your word this time.” you practically ordered.

"Yes ma'am." Both of you adorned a light smirk.

Focusing back on his face, you cursed the shooter for making his eye red instead of his perfect blue.

"It was close..." you whispered, he reached for your hand on his cheek, holding it there. You brushed the nape of his neck and his hair gently, he tiredly smiled closing his eyes.

“Hm Detective Loki?” you took a step back and look as Mrs Dover and Mrs Birch with their own daughter came in the door frame.

"I hope we're not intruding..." Mrs Dover pushed her daughter's wheelchair in the room.

“I’ll let you to it.” you smiled at him softly, because you knew he didn’t like being thanks for doing his job, even more, when he thought he had been shitty at it.

You waited by the main desk, making yourself useful while waiting, eventually eavesdropping, mostly hearing Mrs Dover tell Loki that her husband didn’t contact her and that he is a good man. Part of you understood what she meant and you were sorry for her that it turned out this way. Sorry for Keller Dover too, that this situation led him to blind madness.

"He has found them!" Erin bumped into you a grin on her face. "He is great!"

"Hm ... you were not such a fan of him yesterday.." crossing her arms and leaning on the desk she shrugged at your saying. "We should celebrate! Asap!"

"I'm all in." We bumped our fists discreetly.

"See you tonight then?" Your eyes went to Loki's room "Or ... you have something else in mind...?" She added her gaze following yours.

"I ..I don't know, your hands went to your blouse's pockets. I'll let you know later..."

"Doctor, you're blushing." She pinched your cheek like a kid.

"Shut up!" Slapping her hand away from your face, she laughed and made her way to the lift.

"Dr Y/L/N, you straightened, Detective Loki is asking for you." the nurse at the desk informed you

A giggle coming from the lift's corridor made you rolled your eyes.

[...]

"So, do you mind!?" He was ready to get discharged.

"Hm!?" Inquiring, your head tilting, following his back muscle through his t-shirt.

"Scars ..."

"Why are you asking?" Still not getting it and deeply focused on his back. "Oh ..., you cut him finally remembering the first times you flirted, ... I do not mind at all!"

He lightly laughed at your reaction and you followed. He reached for the door closing it, making you step back against the adjacent wall. The first time in a while you were finally together alone.

"We should... you inhaled as one of his hand laid low on your back and the other on your rib cage, his body enclosing yours. His chest under your eager hands rising and falling a little faster. All the tension between you two remerging at the simple touch of each other. "We should squizz the dinner date ... !"

"Hm hm" he nodded leaning closer, his lips hovering across your cheek and down your neck.

Gazing at the ceiling, as he nuzzled his face in the crook your neck, you silently hope that for once nothing would interrupt this moment.

"I should have done that the day you were in my car, before everything went ...down" his lips nearing yours, you couldn't focus on his features anymore the closeness making everything blur, you clutched desperately at his shirt. You felt his hands pull closer . . . as close as physically possible. 

His hand slowly reached your cheek while the other rest low on your back, holding you tight against his body.

The kiss was soft at first but intensify real quick as soon as you both let the desire you felt for each other flowed into you, the tease, the angst during these weeks unleashed in this heated kiss.

His lips left yours as he breathed in, and with a fervent urgent need he crashed it back onto your soft soon sore's one. Knotting your fists in his shirt, pulling him harder against you, you could feel him, you wanted nothing more than have some alone time with him now that you had finally got a taste of it.

Both out of breath, your lips rested against his temple as he leaned his face in your neck, fingers ruffling his hair gently down his neck and spine it sends shivers through his all figure.

"I have something to do first, but .. can I see you later?"

"Mr. Dover?"

He only nodded and you understand it wasn't completely over until Mr.Dover was found. You felt a pang in your stomach, the moment was gone, it felt like Loki was gone too again, he might have felt it as he reached back for your hands, bringing them back to his chest.

"I'm not letting you down this time, I ... want this ..." his thumb brushed along your lower lip.

“My shift is over in around, gazing at your watch, ... 2 hours, I need time to rest first...”

“I’ll call you when I’m done..” 

You nodded, retouching your hair in case you were a mess after this little make out. You thought of Erin “no shenanigans” and smiled. 

“What is it?” he wondered

“Erin, she kinda predicted this ..”

“Too bad we didn't realise her prediction sooner.” he opened the door for you, you ended up face to face with Erin and Captain O’Malley

“Detective Loki, your Captain came to visit ..” Erin said matter of factly, eyeing the both of you, you saw her smirk. 

“Captain O’Malley.” you saluted coldly, he mumbled a salutation as you passed by him. 

“You’re released already?” he asked Loki who sighed

“We still have someone missing and the report won’t write itself.” he shut him down

“Yeah yeah, after that I’m putting you on forced holidays.” he pointed at him “Like I said find a girl, get some kids, I don’t know.” 

Suddenly Erin snorted loudly, she was still beside them. She excused herself, as she tried to avoid you at the main desk, you swatted her butt with a file. She hopped at the hit, rushing down the elevator. Gazing at Loki, he was already looking at you. 

 

[[below - alternative end if you want more]]  
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Waking up with a start, you look around.

“Home, right.” patting your cover absentmindedly, your hand found your phone. 

“shit!” It was 10 pm already, no missed calls, only texts, Rachel, your parents ... you frowned, a knot in your stomach. “Well, we’ll see.” you rearranged your bedhead, settled in the kitchen with the med students' theses you had to review and started working. 

Eating and still reviewing theses, the doorbell rang, putting away the bowl full of dried fruits you head for the door, a thesis in hand.

“Yeah?” you opened without looking

“You’re reckless!” a deep voice spoke

“Hm?” finally looking up, you smirked. “Part of my charm. Thanks”

He shook his head in disbelief. 

“Come in, it’s freezing.” you went ahead to the kitchen isle, gathering the theses. 

“Coffee?”

"I've found him...Dover."

You stopped rummaging the sheets "is he .."

"He's alive, Alex's..fake aunt had abducted him too. Drugged and dump in a hole in her front yard."

"Is he going to see Anna? .. I know what he did was wrong on so many levels. But it's his daughter.."

"I don't know, he might go to jail immediately after recovering."

You sighed. "Well, at least he'll know she's okay."

He nodded taking a seat across you around the isle. A silence fell...

"Hungry!? I have... some prep meal ... makes me sound pathetic ...."

He chuckled, shaking his head. "... I'd gladly eat something."

"Scallop Linguine?" you proposed.

"Sounds good to me. Need assistance Doc?" He countered playfully.

.

Loki seemed to relax, talking about everything but work on both sides, soon 1 am rang. He yawned first.

"Sorry, I should go." He started standing, stretching his body.

"Like I'm letting you drive in your state. You're staying here." Pushing him down his seat.

"Can't say no to my doctor." He smirked, seizing your waist, you rested on his thigh.

"You better." He leaned in, swiftly kissing your lips, hands slowly brushing each others body. "You .. need to sleep.." you mumbled, his lips left yours.

"Yes ma'am."

You finally led him to your room, keeping yourself at bay as much as your willpower was letting you.

Leaning against him, you both find it hard to resist each other but the slumber was stronger. He soon fell asleep, surprisingly you followed, your body was still tired from the hospital shifts.

.

Elbows on the counter, 4am on the clock, you were drowsily drinking water until you heard a noise.

“Oh my..!” you gasped loudly your knees almost giving up on you

“You forgot I was there?” he tried to sleek is hair back

“Yeah .. sorry.." you giggled nervously hiding your face into your hands. Feeling his hands on your middle you straightened inhaling, he softly kissed your exposed shoulder blades. 

“You have nothing to be sorry for. Thank you Y/N.” he whispered along your shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to produce the last chapter, I had lots to do. Constructive feedbacks are always welcome. Thanks for reading Exsomnis, see you soon maybe.


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